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Here's part two! I am still in complete shock at how popular part one was, and I'm not sure if this should be a concern or not. Regardless, your feedback was predominantly positive- so I'm rolling with it. I will republish the same disclaimer from last time; and remember you can always utilise the hash tag #banmen on your social media channels if you feel so inclined.
Don't forget to leave your comments below, good or bad (because god knows these guys didn't hold back) let us know what your thoughts are. Do you agree with these guys? Disagree? Want to hang out with them? Violently despise them? Tell us. They can take it.
Before you read on, please note the following:
- The opinions expressed are not my own. They have not been censored in any way, shape or form. It's ALL theirs. Oh, I did bleep one swear word, but you know.
- I am personally not the slightest bit concerned about what guys think of my makeup- and neither should you be...unless you want to be. In which case, YAY! You may learn something.
- The rating out of 10 you see is based purely on the MAKEUP- NOT the model. I would not condone rating humans, because I certainly never rate guys out of ten I mean who even does that......
- If you wear any of the following looks (I do), please don't be offended. It's makeup. It's a laugh. If you ARE offended, you can find details below of how to express your annoyance/disdain/rage.
- This is part two in a two part series. If you missed the first part, you can check it out here
- These guys are good guys. They are my friends and I love them. They're aggravating sometimes; (who isn't?) but essentially, they're awesome- and I'm so grateful for them taking the time to do this for me. Thanks homies! xxxx
Don't forget to leave your comments below, good or bad (because god knows these guys didn't hold back) let us know what your thoughts are. Do you agree with these guys? Disagree? Want to hang out with them? Violently despise them? Tell us. They can take it.
Before you read on, please note the following:
- The opinions expressed are not my own. They have not been censored in any way, shape or form. It's ALL theirs. Oh, I did bleep one swear word, but you know.
- I am personally not the slightest bit concerned about what guys think of my makeup- and neither should you be...unless you want to be. In which case, YAY! You may learn something.
- The rating out of 10 you see is based purely on the MAKEUP- NOT the model. I would not condone rating humans, because I certainly never rate guys out of ten I mean who even does that......
- If you wear any of the following looks (I do), please don't be offended. It's makeup. It's a laugh. If you ARE offended, you can find details below of how to express your annoyance/disdain/rage.
- This is part two in a two part series. If you missed the first part, you can check it out here
- These guys are good guys. They are my friends and I love them. They're aggravating sometimes; (who isn't?) but essentially, they're awesome- and I'm so grateful for them taking the time to do this for me. Thanks homies! xxxx
Pastel, "pretty" makeup
"Bridesmaid. All bridesmaids look like this. Maybe a bit boring, but the bridesmaids aren't supposed to outshine the bride so its appropriate, most likely will get drunk and spew up in a cab or break her heel and fall over dancing at the party after the reception. Her name is probably Kelly. 6/10"
Zeb
"ughhhh.. boring but inoffensive 3. Cons. Yawn."
Posh Spaz
"Pros = Looks very innocent, take home to meet your parents look
Cons = Too peachy for me and colour on cheeks travels down a wee bit too low - getting close to mouth.
Thoughts in general = Nice eyelashes. Prom queen or marriage makeup. 8/10"
Jack
"Pros: Walk casually into any event, hump a One Direction waif and get away with shoplifting by pretending to be ol' Swifty.
Cons: This look doesn't exactly scream 'intellectual'.
Thoughts in general: Talking of screaming, I can only imagine these pastel girls to have an excruciatingly high pitched voice. A solid girl next door vibe, but the flower is pushing it - in your mind you have been transported back to 1969 and are blissfully dancing like a hippy to a band you've never heard of at Woodstock, in reality you are wondering how you ended up drinking a 5% can of Woody at some painful chump's house, pretending you are interested in 'the game' and listening to his embellished sexual history.
Rate the look out of 10: Overall, not a bad look for these pastel princesses, but definition could be a problem - if you're a ghostly figure with non existent eyebrows this could easily backfire. 6/10."
Alex
Zeb
"ughhhh.. boring but inoffensive 3. Cons. Yawn."
Posh Spaz
"Pros = Looks very innocent, take home to meet your parents look
Cons = Too peachy for me and colour on cheeks travels down a wee bit too low - getting close to mouth.
Thoughts in general = Nice eyelashes. Prom queen or marriage makeup. 8/10"
Jack
"Pros: Walk casually into any event, hump a One Direction waif and get away with shoplifting by pretending to be ol' Swifty.
Cons: This look doesn't exactly scream 'intellectual'.
Thoughts in general: Talking of screaming, I can only imagine these pastel girls to have an excruciatingly high pitched voice. A solid girl next door vibe, but the flower is pushing it - in your mind you have been transported back to 1969 and are blissfully dancing like a hippy to a band you've never heard of at Woodstock, in reality you are wondering how you ended up drinking a 5% can of Woody at some painful chump's house, pretending you are interested in 'the game' and listening to his embellished sexual history.
Rate the look out of 10: Overall, not a bad look for these pastel princesses, but definition could be a problem - if you're a ghostly figure with non existent eyebrows this could easily backfire. 6/10."
Alex
Coloured eyebrows to match hair
"Love the pink hair again, and the matching pink eyebrows is a nice touch, very cute vibe. if she was Asian it would be a spot on animé look, she needs a ninja sword or maybe a hat to make her look a bit older. 8/10"
Zeb
"Don't get me started. 1. I don't even understand this."
Posh Spaz
"Pros = Hmmmmmm....
Cons = Na bro, that doesn't work.
Thoughts in general = Looks like she's been soaking in methylated spirits!
3/10"
Jack
"Pros: People will think you are a natural pink.
Cons: You have pink eyebrows. Think about that for a minute. Your eyebrows are pink.
Thoughts in general: This isn't good. I realise that you are all "I do my make-up for ME and not for some stupid guy" *z snap* and "If I feel hot, I don't care what any man thinks" *wagging finger combined with the 'oh no he didn't' head movement*, but this shit is pushing it. Next time you are standing in your bathroom peroxiding your eyebrows and reaching down to pick up the Hello Kitty pink dye kit, stop, look at your Keep Calm and Carry On poster that is most definitely on your wall, take a deep breath and seriously consider ignoring it and not carrying on.
Rate the look out of 10: Nobody should look this pale, but yeah - 3/10 for trying something new."
Alex
Zeb
"Don't get me started. 1. I don't even understand this."
Posh Spaz
"Pros = Hmmmmmm....
Cons = Na bro, that doesn't work.
Thoughts in general = Looks like she's been soaking in methylated spirits!
3/10"
Jack
"Pros: People will think you are a natural pink.
Cons: You have pink eyebrows. Think about that for a minute. Your eyebrows are pink.
Thoughts in general: This isn't good. I realise that you are all "I do my make-up for ME and not for some stupid guy" *z snap* and "If I feel hot, I don't care what any man thinks" *wagging finger combined with the 'oh no he didn't' head movement*, but this shit is pushing it. Next time you are standing in your bathroom peroxiding your eyebrows and reaching down to pick up the Hello Kitty pink dye kit, stop, look at your Keep Calm and Carry On poster that is most definitely on your wall, take a deep breath and seriously consider ignoring it and not carrying on.
Rate the look out of 10: Nobody should look this pale, but yeah - 3/10 for trying something new."
Alex
Green hair
"Superhero on her day off fighting crime and saving the world, classy babes dyeing their hair extreme colours usually reserved for punk chicks is quite a turn on for me, its casual but still says "I don’t care what you think" This is my 2nd favourite. 8/10"
Zeb
"Insane. 1. No more on this."
Posh Spaz
" Pros = Can't see clearly but eyebrows look pretty good.
Cons = Too much colour on cheeks and doesn't match lip colour.
6/10"
Jack
"Pros: Extra points from the tweens in the mosh pit.
Cons: Let's face it, you don't even like that music anymore, and being labelled Queen Green by a tween (yes, as well being an expert on make-up I am also a poet laureate) doesn't nearly make up (I am good at puns too) for how ridiculous you look.
Thoughts in general: To me, this is the same as the pink haired girl in the first instalment. I guess we can thank our lucky stars that this bohemian nincompoop spared us the green eyebrows.
Rate the look out of 10: I might have fallen for this fake 'I am soooo crazy' bullshit at 2am after a particularly big BDO many moons ago, but these days this nonsense gets a solid 4/10 and no more."
Alex
Zeb
"Insane. 1. No more on this."
Posh Spaz
" Pros = Can't see clearly but eyebrows look pretty good.
Cons = Too much colour on cheeks and doesn't match lip colour.
6/10"
Jack
"Pros: Extra points from the tweens in the mosh pit.
Cons: Let's face it, you don't even like that music anymore, and being labelled Queen Green by a tween (yes, as well being an expert on make-up I am also a poet laureate) doesn't nearly make up (I am good at puns too) for how ridiculous you look.
Thoughts in general: To me, this is the same as the pink haired girl in the first instalment. I guess we can thank our lucky stars that this bohemian nincompoop spared us the green eyebrows.
Rate the look out of 10: I might have fallen for this fake 'I am soooo crazy' bullshit at 2am after a particularly big BDO many moons ago, but these days this nonsense gets a solid 4/10 and no more."
Alex
Black lips
"I’m not a fan of black lipstick, that stuff would get everywhere while kissing, and her face is really pale compared to her neckline so it looks like she painted herself with clown makeup. I guess if she was in a Madonna video from 1994 i wouldn’t notice it so much but an even skin tone is way hotter and natural looking. 4/10"
Zeb
"The worst fashion crime ever . ZERO. YUK. This can never look good."
Posh Spaz
Pros = Stunning eyelashes
Cons = I'm not sure I like incredibly dark lips.
Thoughts in general = Bit too Edward Scissorhands for me but fair play for being bold
5/10"
Jack
"Pros: Sell yourself using your black lips as a human promotional tool for mediocre rock band, The Black Lips, by proclaiming that your black lips remind people to listen to The Black Lips.
Cons: You look exactly like someone that has been huffing glue or honking on a bottle of rush. On the plus side, having this gloopy tar like lipstick on all day would be a great way to hide your solvent abuse. Every cloud has a spray painted silver lining.
Thoughts in general: I genuinely thought this lip colour was exclusively for the goth/emo sect, but recently I have seen this awful trend extending closer and closer to the real world. It's not something I am happy about. Plus imagine the hideous Promite styled lip mark you'd leave on an unsuspecting cheek/collar. Yuck.
Rate the look out of 10: Whilst there are bigger crimes out there, I don't think dead lips can truthfully be described as hot, so unfortunately this is going to have be left ungraded"
Alex
Zeb
"The worst fashion crime ever . ZERO. YUK. This can never look good."
Posh Spaz
Pros = Stunning eyelashes
Cons = I'm not sure I like incredibly dark lips.
Thoughts in general = Bit too Edward Scissorhands for me but fair play for being bold
5/10"
Jack
"Pros: Sell yourself using your black lips as a human promotional tool for mediocre rock band, The Black Lips, by proclaiming that your black lips remind people to listen to The Black Lips.
Cons: You look exactly like someone that has been huffing glue or honking on a bottle of rush. On the plus side, having this gloopy tar like lipstick on all day would be a great way to hide your solvent abuse. Every cloud has a spray painted silver lining.
Thoughts in general: I genuinely thought this lip colour was exclusively for the goth/emo sect, but recently I have seen this awful trend extending closer and closer to the real world. It's not something I am happy about. Plus imagine the hideous Promite styled lip mark you'd leave on an unsuspecting cheek/collar. Yuck.
Rate the look out of 10: Whilst there are bigger crimes out there, I don't think dead lips can truthfully be described as hot, so unfortunately this is going to have be left ungraded"
Alex
Smoky eyes, nude lip
"The Bride. Smokey eyes and the lipstick shade go together perfectly, Supposedly women look the best they will ever look on their wedding day, no surprises there, they dream of it their whole lives so naturally they go all out. Any man would be stoked to put a ring on her finger. Its very classy. 9/10 "
Zeb
"This is an excellent look. Every girl looks better like this. Even average girls would look good. Mila Kunis does it well."
Posh Spaz
"Pros= Face and cheeks look flawless
Cons = Just a dash too strong in the eye area for me. Wrong choice of colour for lips - too pale.
Thoughts in general = Might look better in the evening?
8/10"
Jack
"Pros: A brilliant way to disguise any emotions you may have or take attention away from sleep deprived eye baggage.
Cons: The look is similar to that of junkie. However simply brushing your hair and having sheets on your bed will solve any confusion.
Thoughts in general: I remember laughing when I first saw the smudged moody heroin chic eye buzz, as previously I had only seen it on girls that I'd made cry, but as the trend refused to fade away I have slowly and reluctantly come to terms with it. Don't overdo it though, ladies, or you'll end up looking like a cat burglar in stilettos.
Rate the look out of 10: These days smokey eyes don't offend me too much, especially paired with the human being coloured lips. She can have a solid 8/10"
Alex
Zeb
"This is an excellent look. Every girl looks better like this. Even average girls would look good. Mila Kunis does it well."
Posh Spaz
"Pros= Face and cheeks look flawless
Cons = Just a dash too strong in the eye area for me. Wrong choice of colour for lips - too pale.
Thoughts in general = Might look better in the evening?
8/10"
Jack
"Pros: A brilliant way to disguise any emotions you may have or take attention away from sleep deprived eye baggage.
Cons: The look is similar to that of junkie. However simply brushing your hair and having sheets on your bed will solve any confusion.
Thoughts in general: I remember laughing when I first saw the smudged moody heroin chic eye buzz, as previously I had only seen it on girls that I'd made cry, but as the trend refused to fade away I have slowly and reluctantly come to terms with it. Don't overdo it though, ladies, or you'll end up looking like a cat burglar in stilettos.
Rate the look out of 10: These days smokey eyes don't offend me too much, especially paired with the human being coloured lips. She can have a solid 8/10"
Alex
Red lip, neutral (ish) eyes
"MTV Youth awards presenter or maybe a Russian house DJ, it's sexy yet professional, and she has the killer red lipstick so she gets an extra point for that. She goes to a lot of celebrity events and can be ready in 30 minutes flat for a high profile night out or a club night in Berlin. (if she can decide whether to wear the Nikes, heels or Timberland boots) 8/10"
Zeb
"YUK. 2. Lipstick is for girls with no lips. Concentrate on eyes.. Cons. Red lipstick turns attention to usually a less than full lip and I don't want to see that. I want to see your eyes"
Posh Spaz
"Pros = Great eyes!
Cons = lips a smidgen too bold, not much though - hardly worth mentioning.
Thoughts in general = Nice even colour all round.
9/10"
Jack
"Pros: Your mum, your nan and every woman that has ever lived will understand your look and not be shocked in the slightest.
Cons: Your mum, your nan and every woman that has ever lived will understand your look and not be shocked in the slightest.
Thoughts in general: You're not going to win any awards for originality, but you are also not going to be chastised for looking like Robert Smith or a fa'afafine. Bright red lips just seem ridiculous to me, I guess they could be beneficial if you are one of those scary untrustworthy thin lipped types like Keira Knightly before she had all that stuff injected into them.
Rate the look out of 10: It's middle of the road nothingness with a sprinkling of outdated red lip nonsense. I don't have much to say about this look really, an average 6.5/10 is all I can be bothered giving it. "
Alex
Zeb
"YUK. 2. Lipstick is for girls with no lips. Concentrate on eyes.. Cons. Red lipstick turns attention to usually a less than full lip and I don't want to see that. I want to see your eyes"
Posh Spaz
"Pros = Great eyes!
Cons = lips a smidgen too bold, not much though - hardly worth mentioning.
Thoughts in general = Nice even colour all round.
9/10"
Jack
"Pros: Your mum, your nan and every woman that has ever lived will understand your look and not be shocked in the slightest.
Cons: Your mum, your nan and every woman that has ever lived will understand your look and not be shocked in the slightest.
Thoughts in general: You're not going to win any awards for originality, but you are also not going to be chastised for looking like Robert Smith or a fa'afafine. Bright red lips just seem ridiculous to me, I guess they could be beneficial if you are one of those scary untrustworthy thin lipped types like Keira Knightly before she had all that stuff injected into them.
Rate the look out of 10: It's middle of the road nothingness with a sprinkling of outdated red lip nonsense. I don't have much to say about this look really, an average 6.5/10 is all I can be bothered giving it. "
Alex
Meet my amazingly opinionated male panelists:
- Zeb: I've known this guy for about 7 years or so. Not shy in any way to express his opinion on virtually any subject, he's also a pretty rad DJ. He also skates fairly well, I've heard, & is a hilarious human. Form an orderly queue, ladies. You can send him fan/hate mail here
- Jack: Probably the quietest of the bunch, but with firm opinions nonetheless- I've known him for 14 years, and is one of the nicest guys on the planet. I love him. FACT! It's always the quiet ones though...seriously. He's chilled out- but one of the fussiest guys I know when it comes to the ladies.
- Alex: The first to state, "I never anon' anything", Alex is one of the funniest guys I have ever met. If you DON'T want the cold, hard truth about something- don't ask him. He's always been awesome to me in the 7-8 years I've known him, but god knows what he sometimes thought of my makeup. You can send Alex fan/hate mail here. Alex is also a writer himself in case you couldn't tell, & you can check out some of his work here (it is about HUNKS).
- Posh Spaz: He's someone who does posh, spazzy things like tidying up and ironing his socks.I know this because I've known him for 8 years. Easily lampooned; don't be deceived by his nice, polite manners- he has extremely strong opinions on everything. Even ants. Lovely human though.
- Zeb: I've known this guy for about 7 years or so. Not shy in any way to express his opinion on virtually any subject, he's also a pretty rad DJ. He also skates fairly well, I've heard, & is a hilarious human. Form an orderly queue, ladies. You can send him fan/hate mail here
- Jack: Probably the quietest of the bunch, but with firm opinions nonetheless- I've known him for 14 years, and is one of the nicest guys on the planet. I love him. FACT! It's always the quiet ones though...seriously. He's chilled out- but one of the fussiest guys I know when it comes to the ladies.
- Alex: The first to state, "I never anon' anything", Alex is one of the funniest guys I have ever met. If you DON'T want the cold, hard truth about something- don't ask him. He's always been awesome to me in the 7-8 years I've known him, but god knows what he sometimes thought of my makeup. You can send Alex fan/hate mail here. Alex is also a writer himself in case you couldn't tell, & you can check out some of his work here (it is about HUNKS).
- Posh Spaz: He's someone who does posh, spazzy things like tidying up and ironing his socks.I know this because I've known him for 8 years. Easily lampooned; don't be deceived by his nice, polite manners- he has extremely strong opinions on everything. Even ants. Lovely human though.
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