My first impression is that I like her, quite a lot. She doesn’t seem to suffer fools gladly, and there doesn’t seem to be any bullshit about her. Her apartment in Bondi is fucking amazing, & she likes dogs more than she likes humans, which I respect. Victoria has vodka for dinner, & likes to know “who’s screwing who”. Me too, mate, me too. i just feel like she's going to rule the roost with these women- I'm getting serious Vanderpump vibes- which can only be a good thing.
Initial judgement- big thumbs up.
I think I like her? She’s loud as fuck, brash, bold, and all that stuff you think about when you have to think about girls from Sydney. She’s moved back to Sydney from Shanghai, where apparently all she did was get massages and manicures. Massages “for days”. Krissy is a mate of Victoria's, which bodes well for her, & is actually quite bloody funny. An unabashed trophy wife by self admission, she’s going to be a firecracker on this show- guaranteed.
Initial judgement- a cautious thumbs up.
A former Miss Australia (sigh), with a very loud and slightly grating voice, Nicole is entertaining, but I think she could get on my wick. She travels ALL the time, and always “up the front” of the plane. Nicole likes to take her children on tours of economy class to look at all the poor scrunched-up travelers- just to remind them of their privilege. Because that’s normal behaviour. I’m not sure if she’s for real- if she is, it’s a thumbs down. If she’s taking the piss, thumbs up for being so convincing.
Initial judgement- a slightly disbelieving waggly thumb- could go either way.
RUH ROH- another Persian. Everyone knows that Persians are reality tv gold- examples: Gilda Kirkpatrick from RHOAK, the entire cast of Shahs of Sunset, & probably every Persian that’s ever on TV ever. They’re just bloody good, and salty as fuck. Matty is no exception. Smart as a tack, forthright, tiny & scrappy, and able to take the piss out of herself- I think I’m really going to enjoy watching her. Don’t let me down, Matty!
Initial judgement- major thumbs up.
Calls herself Athena X, believes in reincarnation, & says that meditation is a telephone between her and God, I can’t be fucked already. Every RH franchise always has to have a token nutcase, and Athena X is the chosen one for Sydney. I really couldn’t care less if people are “spiritual” or not- but when they ramble rant & rave about it, I take umbrage. Athena X is one loose unit, and I can already see that she’s going to be passing everyone off- potentially by the end of the first episode.
Initial judgement- a very zen no thank you thumb
The only one I vaguely recognised, Melissa is a singer, but I don’t know any of her songs. I remember her from an old Australian TV show called E Street, but most of you probably weren’t even born when that screened, so whatever, shut up. She comes across as quite sweet and harmless, actually, but you never know- it's always the quiet ones. You know what though? It’s not. The quiet ones are usually fired after one season for being boring...so Melissa better start taking notes on how to be a psycho if she wants to keep her spot.
Initial judgement- an apathetic thumbs up because she seems nice (I realise this is weak of me but I’m getting bored & I want a wine top up).
JESUS- another firecracker. Lisa takes NO shit, ever, and is very sweary. I’m scared of her, but I respect her- from a distance. Her husband formed the despicable One Nation political party with the vile Pauline Hanson….but I’m going to try and ignore that- that’s his thing, not Lisa's. I feel like she’s going to be extremely polarising on the show- people will love her or hate her, and this is ratings gold. One thing is for sure- she doesn’t give a fuck what you think.
Initial judgement- a nervous thumbs up because she scares the shit out of me.
SO- that’s it. Those are the are seven women- and those are my seven judgments I can’t wait to see if I was completely wrong because let’s face it, I often am, and I’m usually two or three wines deep so I’m probably not even listening properly or paying attention.
The Real Housewives of Sydney will screen in NZ on the Bravo channel on the 28th of February at 8.30pm, and no this is not a sponsored post because who in their right mind would sanction this shit? BOTTOMS UP.