Jesus- is it that time already? I was having quite a nice week until I remembered this show was on. That’s a lie, my week has been RUBBISH and FERAL. Regardless...is it just me that’s starting to be less than enthused about RHOAKL? Are the women becoming less and less relatable every week? These are the sort of burning questions that drive me to drink. Selaks sav is on special at Countdown for $12.99, FYI. Bottoms UP.
Hello kitten loves. If this is your first time reading one of my recaps, please check out the following link:
The post above explains why this recap is vastly different to any of my previous ones, and addresses my thoughts on the vile situation that Julia has created. Merci!
Episode 6 recap:
*pause for a drink*
*pause to get another drink*
Okay, let’s face it, getting your period isn’t a tonne of fun, and not generally something that you’d look forward to on a monthly basis. I don’t know about you guys, but I have the tendency to turn into a complete nightmare- one minute I’m squawking about how nothing is ever where I left it (the sellotape! ALWAYS), and the next I’m crying at the cute kittens on the Friskies ads (“but babe, are they really happy on that set??”). My poor boyfriend. However, over the years I’ve started to figure out ways that I can deal with shark week in a much more productive way. Because seriously, we all have such hectic lives to live (& don’t even get me started when Mercury is in retrograde)- getting our period should absolutely not stand in our way of being awesome. Let’s roll!
I’ve been sitting here staring at the screen trying to figure out how to begin. This week’s recap isn’t one that I’m particularly excited about writing. I considered skipping it altogether...but to pretend that a problem doesn’t exist is a cop-out, in my eyes. I’m not so silly to think that you guys come here to read about my thoughts or feelings; I know that you’re here to read a play-by-play (often slightly drunken) recap of events. I joke, I take the piss, I swear, I scoff & you all seem to like it, because you keep coming back (thank you). However, the recap this week is going to be a little different, & I want to explain why.
Most of you will by now be aware that Julia says something really shitty in this week’s episode. I’m not going to write what she said, because I’ve never written (or said) this particular word in my life, & I don’t intend to start now. The word makes me feel physically ill, and I’m proud to say that I don’t associate with ANYONE that throws it around...whether it’s a “boating term” or not. It is revolting, highly offensive, & indicates a person’s true character & values.
As I said above, to pretend it didn't happen is not an option for me. To gloss over it, or (god forbid) make light of it is even less of an option. This week, I will recap exactly what happens in the episode in a very minimalistic manner. This way, those of you who choose to read my recaps so you don’t have to watch the show (bless you!) won’t be let down. All the details will be there, I promise. Aside from quoting Julia, that is. However, there will be very little, if any, humour. There will be no pictures to lighten it up. I’m just not in the mood, and I hope you understand. Next week, I am hopeful that I will be able to get drunk and take the piss as usual. But this will be dependent on how this issue is handled.
For me personally, my approach to this particular word is one of zero-tolerance. I will never say it, write it, or associate with people who do so. If it is uttered in my company I speak up, and generally choose to leave the room. It is not okay, and I just know that all of you agree with me, I can feel it. I strongly urge all of you to really think about the ramifications of throwing racial slurs around, and consider how you can make a difference by adopting a similar zero-tolerance policy. If you’re unfortunate enough to be around someone who has no qualms about using racial slurs, challenge them. Speak up. Tell them it’s not okay, and tell them that we as New Zealanders are better than that. Julia embarrassed New Zealand via a platform that belongs to a worldwide franchise. She let us down. We can do better, so let’s start now. Thank you for understanding, I'll see you back here on Wednesday with the recap.
Soooo- it feels like WEEKS since the last episode, and quite honestly, it felt like it took weeks to watch tonight's ep. Maybe there wasn't enough fighting. Maybe there wasn't enough Gilda. Maybe there was too much Julia. Who bloody knows. This week saw Angela have a SLIGHT reprieve in being the number one asshole, & Julia shuffled up to take her place in a hideous bikini. Anyway, let's get on with it- grab your wine- a bottle, not a glass. And don't forget to NOT hold it by the stem.
Nothing about the teasers for this episode made me feel particularly excited, and so I nearly forgot this was even ON. I guess I was too busy being excited about the $9.99 Montana Pinot Noir I found on spesh at Countdown today….take THAT, Anne. I am also holding my glass NOT by the stem, because I am a pov. Let’s shuffle on, my peasant friends.
The festival of nonsense opens with a wild-eyed Angela and her straight out of drama school faux French PA Lea going house-hunting. I suspected Lea was an actor last week, and now it’s just so obvious that I feel quite ragey that bravo expects us to fall for this shit. I mean, come on. The overly-familiar real estate agent (eg “This is going to tick a few boxes for you, Ang”) is showing them around a house in St Heliers. For those of you unfamiliar with Auckland, St Heliers is a place where old rich people pretend they are living in St Tropez, the prices are jacked up, and it’s really as dull as fucking dishwater, though scenic. They’re banging on about indoor and outdoor flow, and I just want to flow into my glass already. Angela asks Lea, “Do you have this in France?”. No, Angela, they all live like sardines crammed on top of one another in the Eiffel Tower. For fucks sake.
This is the part of the blog where I write about anything I like, so...