The post above explains why this recap is vastly different to any of my previous ones, and addresses my thoughts on the vile situation that Julia has created. Merci!
Episode 6 recap:
- The women are still in Port Douglas.
- The weather looks shite
- They are about to go out on a boat trip organised by Louise
- I’m drinking a wine that cost $9.99, and it is shite, but beggars can’t be choosers
- Michelle looks like a goddess
- Julia says she loves boats and asks the captain how big it is, yawn
- The music playing in the background is trying to lull us into a false sense of security, with lyrics like this, “look up at the sun cos it’s shining for you, it’s a beautiful day, it’s a beautiful day”
- I couldn’t make shit like that up
- Gilda, Michelle & Julia are upstairs on the raz, and Louise & Anne are downstairs on the raz. God knows where Angela is, and who cares.
- Louise and Anne see a shark, and overreact as per
- Off-camera, Michelle helps Gilda up onto the sunlounger. Julia says the disgusting thing.
- However many minutes afterwards, we see Michelle telling Julia that she should “never, ever” say that word
- Julia tries to brush it off, seemingly implying it was a joke
- Julia goes downstairs and cries to Angela- potentially the worst person to confide in.
- Michelle is fuming, and rightly so. Gilda is upset on her behalf. There are real tears from Gilda- the first time I’ve ever seen her cry in the time I’ve known her.
- Angela is trying to be nice to Julia, but it comes across as a mum chastising her kid. She tells her to be the bigger person, and I am like what the fuck
- Gilda says that Julia is a fucking idiot
- Julia is trying to apologise to Michelle. Michelle calls her an ignorant little bitch. Julia cries, but there are no tears.
- Julia does the worst thing ever by confronting Michelle when she is steaming.
- Julia looks lost, and and is no match for Michelle. She’s floundering.
- Not for the first time, I am screaming, “SHUT THE FUCK UP JULIA, JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP”
- Michelle throws a glass of champagne in Julia’s face, and then throws the glass at the wall. Calls her a stupid whore. Julia scuttles downstairs like the dirty little hamster she is.
*pause for a drink*
- Julia is crying to Anne, Angela, and Louise. Louise is HIGHLY unimpressed. I can’t read Anne. Angela looks stupid as usual.
- Julia says she wishes she could turn it all back, but she absolutely cannot.
- Lea is doing ironing (/?!), and Angela is Facetiming her boyfriend. He looks bored. He has to go because he has “meetings and presentations”. Nice one, guy.
- There’s a “light” scene about Anne and her vitamins but it is stupid so I’m skipping it..
- Angela pours about 10kg of vitamins in bowl and commands Lea to tront them.
- Angela, Louise, Anne and Julia are going on a helicopter to a spiritual retreat. Gilda and Angela are skipping it, because who wouldn’t.
- They meet Angela's crazy mate, who tells them they’re going to do laughter yoga. Wut.
- They are hooting and whooping like maniacal menopausal banshees, and I would have actually paid good money to see Gilda do this- or at least her reaction to it
- Michelle and Gilda are walking on the beach in the rain, and they are gorgeous. THAT is real female friendship.
- Julia cries again, without actual tears. Get off my TV screen, idiot.
- Why is Angela pronouncing the word “acceptable” as “assetible”? Twice?
*pause to get another drink*
- The ladies are all around the pool, with Michelle & Gilda sitting as far away from Julia as they can get
- Angela is talking to Julia the same way she talks to Lea and it is embarrassing
- Those two are best mates now
- Everyone laughs at Angela’s fake tan stains around the GROIN of her white swimsuit
- I laugh too, because fuck man
- We are back in Auckland, thank god
- Julia is trying to get sympathy from her husband, and if he did show her any, they have edited it out
- She is a mindless, childish, stupid woman
- He tells her to apologise
- She is still trying to justify her comment, saying it “just popped out”
- Gilda and Michelle are on the raz at a party at Stamford Residences
- This is a very expensive apartment building where rich people live, and criminals, and rich criminals, funnily enough.
- We find out that Julia has asked Michelle to meet her. Michelle is like eeergghh.
- They meet at Euro, which is an expensive restaurant in Auckland where D-list celebrities gather to talk shit about each other, and pretend to eat food but really just shove it around on the plate before saying “OMG I AM SO FULL”.
- Julia is apologising to Michelle, and keeps making excuses- she is making me sick.
- Michelle is owning her. OWNING her.
- Julia looks affronted and baffled, and tells Michelle not to lecture her.
- There is an uneasy truce by the end of it, but I can guarantee two things:
- 1. This is not the last we’ll hear of this
2. If there is a second season of this show, Julia will not be returning.