Break ups - they are the WORST. I've been there, you've been there...well, if you haven't, you are one lucky human because they are revolting. Now that I'm on the wrong side of 35, I feel like I experienced enough to let you know what I think the best ways to get through a breakup are- whether you're the dumper, or the dumpee. I won't lie- it's still going to hurt-- but hopefully the following tips will make it a tiny bit easier. And guess what? In a year from now, you will cackle at the fact you even cared about your ex. I promise!
I'm a huge believer in letting yourself have some time to grieve, sulk, and be a bit moody after a breakup. It's important not to bottle things up, or put on a brave face indefinitely- because trust me, you WILL explode- & chances are it won't be pretty. It'll be more likely to be horribly embarrassing. SO- spend a weekend tucked up on the couch under a fluffy blanky, with a box of tissues & a Kardashian marathon on TV. Have a cry, or lots of cries, & accept that what you once had is no more. Just let it out, gurrrl! If you want to be alone, be alone, otherwise invite your besties over to pass you more tissues & commiserate with you (see my tip below about getting your squad on-board). Most importantly, do NOT contact your ex. Please don't-- seriously. Something I did that always helped was to delete my ex's phone number immediately, & to give social media a very, very wide berth. Which brings me to my next point......
Social media is NOT your friend right now
As tempting as it is to post status updates bemoaning your single status, please don't. They make people pull faces like this. The goal is to be strong and silent...even if you're weeping bitter tears all over the place. Trust me, no one ever feels proud of emotional FB breakup posts...I look back at ones I made in my 20s, and I CRINGE. The same goes for your bog-standard single girl memes; things like, "If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best". CRINGE TOWN. You're better than that. Social media is also extremely unhealthy in the fact that you can stalk on your ex online. This never leads to anything good, honestly. Unfriend, unfriend, unfriend. Don't make a song & dance about it- just do it. Repeat with Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat, & whatever else you young un's are using. It's not overreacting, it's being assertive- & saving you the heartache of potentially seeing your ex moving on (gasp) happily. Distract yourself from the temptations of social media by having a girl’s night.
Invite your squad over for a girl’s night in
Your friends are the BEST people to lean on right now- they'll all have been where you are, & they love you. Invite them over to your couch for a cosy girl’s night in, complete with face masks, manicures, Netflix, gossip, & TREATS. I'm a terrible baker, I can only cook- but even I can pull off the following recipe using the new Tim Tam mocktail-inspired bikkies. And LOOK how cute & girly they are...here's the recipe:
Blinged-Out Strawberry Champagne Tim Tam Brownies
One pack of the new Tim Tam mocktail inspired range (I usually use Strawberry & Champagne, but Pina Colada & Espresso Martini would be divine as well!)
3/4 cup (120g) self-raising flour, sifted
1 1/4 cups (285g) white sugar
1/2 cup cocoa, sifted
3 eggs, lightly beaten
2 tsp vanilla extract
3/4 cup (180g) butter
1 tub of chocolate frosting
As many girly edible decorations as your senses can handle- try pink sprinkles, edible glitter, tiny fondant roses etc
Step 1. Gather all ingredients together. Line a slice tray (15cm x 30cm) with baking paper and set aside. Preheat oven to 200°C (180°C fan-forced).
Step 2. Place flour, sugar and cocoa in a bowl and mix together. Add eggs, vanilla and butter and whisk until combined. Place 4-5 tablespoons of brownie mixture into the tray and spread to cover the base.
Step 3. Place 2 rows of 5 Tams on top of the brownie mixture. Pour remaining mixture into the tin and smooth over to cover the Tim Tams.
Step 4. Bake for 25-30 minutes or until lightly baked through. Cool and decorate with the chocolate frosting, & a TONNE of sprinkles!
Step 5. DEVOUR!!!!!!
Get yourself off the couch/out of bed/off the floor
In the wake of a breakup, it can be tempting to hibernate indefinitely. As I mentioned above, I think that it's okay to hide from the world for a short while (I'm talking a couple of days)- but sooner or later, you've gotta get moving! You'll probably be feeling a little weak and slow-moving from so much emotion (the worst), so do take it easy at first- be kind & gentle to yourself! If you go to the gym, GET BACK IN THERE. If you ride horses, GET BACK ON THERE. If you're like me, & don't do much of ANY kind of exercise, go for a long walk outside. Listen to something uplifting during your exercise, whatever it is. Personally, I quite like a bit of Minaj when I need to cheer myself up. You can't listen to "Beez In The Trap" & be depressed at the same time- it's impossible.
If you want to rebound, proceed with caution
Tricky! Very tricky. I refuse to sit here and say that I think going on the rebound is a bad idea, because that would be 100% hypocritical. However- I CAN recommend that you go slowly. I totally know that having the attention of someone new can be a rather gorgeous distraction, as well as a decent ego boost. When you're in the throes of a breakup, you're not normally as level-headed as you may be (I put that in the nicest possible way, in case you couldn't tell). You are much more prone to making rash decisions aka terrible choices. Plus, you're all fragile and emotional- both things that don't bode well for starting a new relationship. So be cautious, keep it casual, and don't lose perspective. Tinder will still be there in a couple of months, I guarantee.
I recently asked some of the MUO Lifestyle girls how they got through a break up- and I LOVED the responses! I've quoted them below, so everyone can benefit:
"Reflect and thank god I hadn't wasted any more of my time of someone not worthy of it. Then move on with my life... alternately I suggest buying a cat"
"Gym, wine, friends, adventurous walks, at-home pampering (bath, nails, hair and face masks, fake tan), planning something exciting!"
"Sex and the City re runs. SHIT LOADS OF EXERCISE. Block/delete them from all social media (if you are 100% certain you don't want to get back together). Eat healthy and nourish your body properly. Look after your soul; massages, hobbies, wines with your besties are imperative. Did I mention exercise? Finally, think positively about your ex, thinking negatively is a vexation to your own spirit, and you deserve more than that! Going through one at the moment myself... lots of love to all the girls out there! xx"
"Overthinking wears a hole in your mind, keeping yourself occupied, think and stay positive. Surround yourself with people that bring the best out in you"
'Colour my hair, wear outrageous lipstick/clothes, and perform dark magic rituals to dispose of everything he ever gave me!'
"I'm focusing on myself. That includes working out, eating right and buying a loooot of makeup to make myself look goooood...and having a cry every now and then is okay! That's what I've had to learn, not bottling it up and having it effect other people negatively"
Thank you so much to the amazing people at Arnott’s for making this post possible- don't forget to keep an eye out for the brand new mocktail-inspired Tim Tam range in supermarkets near you- they are SO GOOD, & will help with ANY break up!!!
WIN yourself $1000 to put towards your next Girl’s Night In – just show us your Tim Tam moment on social media and tag it with #timtammoments to go in the draw. One entry per person- check out the terms & conditions here: http://bit.ly/TimTamTsCs
Thank you so much to the awesome peeps from Tim Tam for making this post possible!